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Who are you ??

'Who are you?' standing in front of the mirror, I asked myself. You are a 21 years old, worthless guy, a thought hit my brain. Worthless??, what does it mean? The dictionary says, 'of no use or value'. Do I really don't have a value? If I died right now, my mom will cry, my dad will cry, my sis & bro will cry, my friends will be sad, then why I don't have a value? Does anyone except these will cry, does anyone except those will be sad? Does the people you don't know will cry because you are dead! I said, 'No'. Still you think you have a value??

Now who are you? I am a worthless guy, one among the 6,973,738,433 people in the world. I am a microscopic particle of a mass of the sand. I feel like a hero when I stand alone in front of the mirror in my room but when I expose myself to the crowd, I feel like a real zero. A beaten metal becomes ornament one day. I was always beaten by time from the very beginning of my life, but I am still worthless.
Few years after my birth, I was sent to a school with a bag full of books, heavier than my weight, to read and to learn. My mom and dad used to say, 'padhera thulo manchhe bannu parchha'. But as I grew up I came to know that padhera matra thulo manchhe huna sakinna. But I never knew what must be done to be a Thulo Manchhe.

My name is Roshan Kumar Sharma, a middle class dreamer. I studied in Shree SiddhaBaba Higher Secondary School (a nepali medium community school) upto SLC. After getting remarkable marks in SLC, I was sent to the capital city of Nepal for further study. I thought, Now I will be a Thulo Manchhe because I am in Kathmandu for my studies. But as time was passing by, I never came to realize that I am being a Thulo Manchhe. I completed my higher studies but still I didn't find any clue how to grab the title. Now it was the time for MBBS preparation. Yess, I got it, Thulo Manche means Doctor. I got it and I was on the peak when I took the examination. But some days later, when the results were declared, I was not on the list of Thula Manchhe :( . Now what to do?? I was unable to be in the list. Never mind, the opportunity will come again, 6 months later. So now get ready for the race again, life gives you opportunities, I thought. I was all set to take another exam of MBBS i.e. Thulo Manche !! But I was said not to waste so much time for what I am not capable to achieve. I was not supposed to try again for the exam coming 6 months later. Then what to do?? A answer came , 'CA' !! CA??, one sec, I've heard this word sometimes. I had heard that CAs are very successful persons but I don't know so much about that word. What does CA means?? 'Chartered Accountant', sounds good :) Dictionary says a Chartered Accountant as 'A member of one of the institutes of accountants granted a royal charter'. I thought now I am near the top, I was little happy and little sad.

Now I was sent to the capital city of India, one of the fastest growing developing countries, to pursue the Chartered Accountancy course. I had read somewhere that Chartered Accountancy is a very tough course. But despite of all these rumors, I was happy because I felt myself to be very close to the summit. My golden dream was on the other side of the metallic wall and the wall was named as Chartered Accountancy.

But it was not so easy. I found it to be more difficult than people said it to be. In every field you are given a specific time period after which you will be awarded with the title. But here, the story is different. You are provided with the unlimited time period to ruin your life. People here sacrifice all their youth, although they are unable to clear. Standing in the crowd they talk to themselves, In the rush, they loose their health, very few of them looses their lives too. Even they don't know when they will concur the golden dream. Stories here are all the same, only the faces are different. Sometimes I say to myself, 'Thulo Manche banne chakkarma zindagi ta char koshe jhadi ma po fasyo' ! Only a hope makes you alive, 'I will grab the golden dream one day'. People always ask me, 'after how many years you will clear??' I casually reply them, 'couple of years left'. But someone inside me says, ''it is not in your hands to fix the time limit, go and ask with the Fortune Writer".

J hos, aafno baare ma dherai sochna thaliyeko chha. When I go in front of my mirror, it always asks me, 'who are you?' I smile and reply, '' now I've got the answer. I am a 21 years worthless guy, one in the millions, having all the same characters a normal man has but with a unique thought." My mirror smiled, no, I smiled. I am competent enough to change 'worthless me' into a 'worthy me'. I am just waiting to be a 'Thulo Manchhe'.

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उत्सव

तिमी आयौ, मैले उत्सव मनाएँ, तिमी हाँस्यौ, हामी उत्सव मनायौँ, तिमी गयौ, मैले फेरि उत्सव मनाएँ, तर... यदि जानुनै थियो भने, तेसरि नहाँसेकी भए हुन्थ्यो।।

Dear Life

Dear life, Do you remember, How beautiful you were, When we were kids, You and I were best friends, We traveled together, We dreamed together, When the world said, You and I are stupid, We never quit dreaming, We used to climb trees, We used to run on the slopes, And used to hunt the stars, We didn't know we could fall, And we conquered the success. Dear life, Now you are grown up, And you never realize, How ugly you are, Still the world says, You are smart enough, But you aren't my best friend, We don't travel together, We don't dream together, We can't climb a tree, Because we're afraid of falling, When the world admires you, You weep in the corner, When I believe you are brave, You just pretend to be !!