Empty Emotion: A Part-Time Literature

यो शहरको कोलाहल भन्दा धेरै टाढा एउटा मरुभूमि छ, मेरो कल्पनाको मरुभूमि, जहाँ म एक्लै यात्रा गर्न रुचाउँछु। धेरैजसो मेरो एक्लोपनको भारि बिसाउन म त्यहिँ पुग्ने गर्छु। मलाई रमाइलो लाग्छ, त्यो बतास संगै उड्ने धुलोका कणहरुसंग खेल्न। म धेरैजसो आफुलाई त्यहि धुलो सँग तुलना गर्छु। सायद त्यो धुलो पनि म जस्तै निरिह थियो, हावाको वेगले जता धकेल्यो उतै हुत्तिने, मलाई समयको वेगले हुत्ताए जस्तै। म त्यहि धुलोको ढिस्कोमा अडिएर टोलाइरहेको थिएँ। कतैबाट डरलाग्दो हुरी चले जस्तो आवाज आयो अनि म आत्तिएँ। "कस्तो लागि रहेछ?" म झस्किएँ। एउटा अनौठो अनुहार मसँग प्रश्न गरिरहेको थियो। त्यो अनुहार मेरो कुनै परिचित व्यक्तिको थिएन। म र मेरो अतितसँग जोडिएका सबै सम्झनाका पृष्ठभुमिहरु कोट्याउँदा पनि त्यो अनुहार कतै भेट्न सकिन। "तिमि को हौ" मलाई सोध्न मन लग्यो। तर म मौन बसिरहेँ। म त्यही बताससँग मस्कि मस्कि नाचिरहेको धुलोलाई हेरिरहेँ। "किन नबोलेको, भन न कस्तो लागिरहेको छ?" प्रश्न अझ लम्बिएर फेरि दोहोरियो। मलाई रिस उठीसकेको थियो। मैले उतिर हेरेर झर्किएको पाराले भने "तिमि को होउ? म तिमीला...

Dear life, Do you remember, How beautiful you were, When we were kids, You and I were best friends, We traveled together, We dreamed together, When the world said, You and I are stupid, We never quit dreaming, We used to climb trees, We used to run on the slopes, And used to hunt the stars, We didn't know we could fall, And we conquered the success. Dear life, Now you are grown up, And you never realize, How ugly you are, Still the world says, You are smart enough, But you aren't my best friend, We don't travel together, We don't dream together, We can't climb a tree, Because we're afraid of falling, When the world admires you, You weep in the corner, When I believe you are brave, You just pretend to be !!

Last Night I Dreamed of You, You were flying really high, Higher than the birds could fly, Those clouds were beneath you, And dreams above the blue sky. Last Night I Dreamed of You, Sailing through the intricate harbor, You were busy puncturing the tides, Higher than your hopes, Still making way for your rides. Last Night I Dreamed of You, You were leading the light, Through the tunnel of darkness, Victory was shining at the end, Like the diamond sparkles. When I woke up this morning, And the sun went above horizon, There you were inside the mirror, Standing with a vacant emotion, Petrified with your own aspiration.

Oh Dear Mother, When you flew away, To get us some food, The trees were dancing, And I don’t know why, Those hills were moving, The neighbors flew away, When their tree was falling, The thunder was scary, And our timber was breaking, Hopes were all crumbled, To see my brothers crying, I crawled on the leaves, And our home fell down, I am scared of this wind, It took away my siblings, Now is this the rain, Different than yesterday, These drops are whipping, And the sky is yelling, The clouds are more black, And the dust is smelling, Eyes can’t weep anymore, I feel very week, Alone and frightened, And I’m hungry too, Without you my mother, Heart doesn't beat anymore, This time is brutal, And fate is on the shore, Come fast dear Mother, Before the darkness haunts, Come fast dear Mother, Before the world mourns...

May be the sky is not blue enough, May be the ocean is not blue enough, May be the blue itself is not blue enough, May be there is something wider than the sky, May be there is something deeper than the ocean, May be somewhere deep inside you, You have a dream bluer than the sky and ocean, That can make the rainbow fade away...

A Weaker Me, Sometimes Stronger, An Innocent Me, A bit Cruel too, A Decent Me, A confused me, An Honest Me and a Betrayer, A Friend and an Enemy, Whatever I appear to be, I have a reflection, That doesn't pertain real me, But it defines the sorrow, I am suffering through, You can help me redeem, With a smile in return !!

उजेलिले उसको तस्वीर छुँदा, अँधेरिमा बसी मुस्कुराउँछ, संसार सबै घामले छेकिंदा, छाहारी खोज्दै हिंड्छ, घाम अस्ताउँदा पछुताउँछ, निदाउने बेला परिकल्पना गर्न थाल्छ, विशाल युद्धको तयारी गर्न लागे जस्तो, हिम्मतको टाउकोमै टेकेर चिच्याउँछ, विश्वले उसैको आवज सुन्ने जस्तो, अन्तरमनमै प्रफुल्ल हुन्छ, अनी निदाउने प्रयत्न गर्छ, डर लाग्दा अनुहारको बिचमा, आफ्नो वास्तविकता भेटाउँछ, बनावटी शाहस बटुल्दै, बाटो पन्छ्याउन खोज्छ, कल्पनामा रमाउने मान्छे, पातलो कोलाहलमै हराएर जान्छ !!

I am a vacant emotion, I travel miles away, To explore myself, And return empty hand, I am a staunch journey, You can travel with me, But you can't mislead me, I am the time, You can enjoy me, But you can't hold me, I am the rays of light, You can feel me, But you can't touch me, I am a mistake, You can correct me, But you can't erase me, I am the breeze, You can breathe me, But you can't see me, I am that little hope, You can live with me, But you can't destroy me, I am a piece of happiness, You can be with me, But you can't ruin my smile, I am the truth, You can accept me, But you can't change me, I am an imagination, You can pursue me, But you can't stop me, I will travel miles away, Just to be with myself, To find my existence, To explore my destiny, I will run down the horizon, I will leap above universe, The stars will smile, And I will define myself, You will starve to the end, Trying to make me re...

You twinkle far in the galaxy, I just lie down beneath the air, On the ground to behold you, To stray along with your smile, And to cherish your immense beauty, That makes my heart beat a little faster, So many of them glimmer in the sky, But like no others you shine above all, Time is endless when I'm looking at you, With emotions flying a thousand miles, Ocean wants to vanish into your eyes, Moon is so jealous of your charm, The breeze turns crazy and teases me, Clouds try to hide you from my sight, Because we share a bond of friendship, And our trust is the fuel to keep it alive !!

Throwing yourself onto the bed every evening after a stressful day is the thing you enjoy most these days. You may be successful, earning good, own a BMW and a beautiful apartment but your bald forehead may not be shining that way. When you look at the mirror, an unknown agony seems ruling into your eyes. The wrinkles on your cheek crucifies your living. You know you have enough reasons to smile but you don't really want to. You also don't have that courage to weep in the corner because you realize that the weight of the tear drops are too heavy to carry. Well, an attempt to get a fresh breeze in your balcony will indemnify your existence. Now you can see the color of the sky has so much changed. It has been so long since you looked up there. The nature just faded away its colors and you cannot remember what actually it looked like. Sadness rises along with the sun everyday and never sets with it. Your own shadow disappears into the piles of files y...